That’s what I’m looking forward to. I cannot believe that the time is closing in on Marion’s arrival. People have been asking me what it feels like and once again I don’t have a comment. Surreal I guess. I do feel nonchalant about it, namely because my brain hasn’t yet caught up to the fact that this is actually happening. She’s very special to me and it some ways I don’t think that myself has fully integrated who she is. The longing is gone. It’s just complete so I can move on, or so it seems sometimes. My emotions are all over the place this week! I did notice that I didn’t go to yoga on Friday, so maybe there is something to that.
I have been spending a lot of time with A. The girlfriend. It’s so weird I can’t believe I have a girlfriend. It feels – I don’t know. Probably surreal as well. Girlfriend actually sometimes feels – cheap – maybe like things are diminished a bit. I would never admit it publicly yet – feels too soon – but I think of her as more like the love of my life rather than a girlfriend. She’s just the best friend I never had yet….and I’ve had some amazing friendships. It’s like a best friendship on steroids. I sometimes wonder if it’s just going to blow up in my face.