Well, after a few weeks of being off schedule I’m back. My mom came to visit which was great. We spent just the right amount of time together before she started to get on my nerves. We did some nice things like take a bus tour, visit Jim’s and then had a surprise dinner for her 65th birthday at Cheesecake Factory. My friends were so amazing to make my mom have a special day. I know it was memorable for her.
I started CodeSchool and actually paid for a subscription. I’m surprised because I try to get things for free but I really liked the trial and wanted to continue with the course that I started. With the task to make Blanket’s website, I think I’ll be good. After I finish this Front End Foundation course, I’ll need to take a class on making WordPress custom themes and then I think I’ll be good to go to build what she needs.
That sounds so awesome: build what she needs.
I downloaded strava onto my phone again. I’m so surprised that what felt like really hard work – racing to studio 34 in about 8 minutes only burned 36 calories. I also felt like I couldn’t go much faster but I imagine I will manage.
I had a trip to visit B and the kids. It was so lovely. She really appreciated my visit. It was just nice. Ordinary and simple but a nice trip.
Reiki II is over. Or, maybe, it has just begun.
Mom is visiting this week which I am, of course, super excited about. H helped me to start (and quite practically finish) cleaning up to prepare for her. I also planted a few things in H’s garden which she was so kind to share with me! I am really excited for the chocolate mint. It was fantastic.
I have been reading voraciously about development and saw something that outlined the differences between people that are successful self-taught and those that are not. It said that people who were successful were working toward a project and weren’t just learning to code for the sake of coding. Strangely, now that I am trying to learn it seems I have no ideas of things to build. So, I asked B and my sister if they could use a website for something. Thankfully, both of them have needs to I feel the accountability rise.
Off to code!
Well, that was a new experience. In the midst of Reiki II, during our first student clinics, I passed out. It is something that I keep thinking of and am having a hard time forgetting. I didn’t leave my house at all on Friday, though I took it easy on Saturday and got around. I feel pretty normal but it’s just a very scary event. I am going to make a follow up appointment and actually get a PCP so that I can get bloodwork done. I just want to be aware of the things that are going on in my body.
I am glad that Ann was available to pick me up! G was totally going to come as well, but A was able to get to me faster. She also didn’t make fun of me at all for starting to cry about it because it was scary. It actually happened to her, too. I’m really glad that we are actual friends now. It’s funny because when I first met her, that first day in the office, I thought “OMG she’s the only normal one here.” I think better things about the others now, but she was and will always be my favorite.
With regard to the fall out, I thought – oh my god. Mortality. What if that was it? I thought, I work far too much. I spend too much time doing something very important that I don’t always feel good about.
I’m to this point in life where I am contemplating what it means for me to be Black and conscious. I think there’s things that happen at work, misunderstandings and such, that – well, frankly, wouldn’t happen if my colleagues were more direct. Sometimes, I get the feeling that I don’t know all there is to know about code switching. I get a sense that there’s this advanced strand that you learn in the workplace, and you have to master it to be successful — at least to be successful in the corporate environment. Or, well, I don’t know what happens. Maybe this is part of where I care too much about what people think. Other people’s perceptions are what they are – theirs. They are not objective reality. I need not to care too much about what other people think, even if they write my evaluation. Because, well, they aren’t infallible. They just happen to be in a position where they get to judge me. This is why I think I would appreciate a Black manager. Maybe they would have a different way of interacting with me, one that is grounded in understanding.
In a broader sense, I’m wondering where I belong. When I meet different people from different countries, there are so many things that they question about the way things are done in US. I suppose it makes me feel good – like – I’m not immoral for the way that I am. I actually might fit in quite well somewhere else without people telling me I need to be someone else.