Monthly Archives: January 2015

Movement

Well. Intentions, intentions. There’s movement at work. Shifts at work. People leaving and I suppose as a result people coming. I’m excited for what might change. But of course, I’m fearful of it as well. The devil you know vs the devil you haven’t met. But that might actually be an angel. Let’s see. Time can only tell.

I went to a birthday party last night and stayed out way beyond my bedtime. I think I had 2-3 drinks max throughout the course of the night but I still ended up waking up at the ass crack of dawn. I suppose that’s because of this tendency for the body to rebound after drinking – the alcohol literally flings you out of deep sleep and into REM which causes you to wake up more easily.

I have had a much easier time keeping work at work, much better than when I first started. I wonder what’s changed. I had a fun chat with AB the other day, where she essentially mimicked everything I wrote about feeling like I place too much emphasis on work.

It’s so difficult – because when I focus on myself and say that I’m the greatest project or accomplishment I’ll ever have – I feel self indulgent. But perhaps that’s just a distraction.

At the party, I discovered this really cool website that talks about birthdays and people born on certain days. I thought mine was particularly accurate, especially the part when talking about the conflicts.

-In case it disappears-

DAY Compassionate Combatant

The Day of the Compassionate Combatant

Traits of this day…

REASONABLE
SOCIAL
FUN-LOVING
UNSURE
AMBIVALENT
PASSIVE

Meditation…

Life itself feels no need to compromise

Health…

Those born on January 29 may experience all kinds of physical difficulties adjusting to their environment—most notably, allergies. It can help for January 29 people to cut down on mucus-producing foods in their diet, notably milk products. Those born on this day may also suffer from hemorrhoids or varicose veins in their legs, which should be treated earlier rather than later and not necessarily with medication but perhaps with changes in habits, such as a reduction in red meat consumption and fewer uninterrupted periods of standing or sitting. Regular moderate to vigorous physical exercise is highly beneficial to the circulatory system and should be continued right through middle age into seniority, if possible. As far as diet is concerned, January 29 people should avoid excess consumption of fat and, of course, any foods to which they are allergic.

Secret Language Android App
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Personality of this day…

    Those born on January 29 stand up and fight for what they believe in, but only if necessary. They have great faith in the ability of reason and human understanding to prevail in most situations and therefore attempt to work things out as best they can. Generally speaking, January 29 people are provocative only so that others can recognize the issues at hand, examine and discuss them, and make their own decisions. They are rarely, if ever, dictatorial and do not enjoy imposing their ideas on people. Probably their greatest satisfaction is both living and working together with others in harmony as a team member.

For the most part active and productive in daily life, January 29 people have a remarkably passive side underlying their nature, which on the upside makes them open and accepting of other points of view. The downside of this is that they often stall, put off crucial decisions and lose direction for periods of time. They are also capable of sticking with a profession they do not really like for years, rather than pushing themselves to find something better. Actually, they have a great need for security which, no matter how radical or far out they seem, remains a commanding presence in their lives.

The emotional lives of January 29 people are extremely complex perhaps because they are rarely satisfied with the status quo. For example, if they find security in a loving relationship they may soon grow bored and desire to be free. If they live alone, preferring their freedom, they long for the kind of personal happiness and family life they see others having. Creative people born on this day may yearn for years to be recognized, yet at the same time feel that commercialism can be the kiss of death to their unusual endeavors and stifling to their sense of fantasy and imagination.

As mentioned before, January 29 people are generally accepting of many points of view. However, since they will rarely reject an option out of hand without examining it first, they may have difficulties making lasting decisions. Their profound human understanding, one of their strongest talents, in the final analysis can foster ambivalent attitudes which become an obstacle to their success.

Characteristically though, these courageous individuals keep going, battling with equal effort against their own underlying doubts and society’s barriers. The key to their success usually lies in building a solid ego structure tough enough to protect them and realistic enough to advance their aspirations.

Advice…
  • Toughen up a bit.
  • The easiest way is not always the best.
  • Don’t insist that you can do without.
  • Express your wants and expect others to do the same.
  • How will anyone know if you don’t tell them?
Born this day…

WEEK Genius

The Week of Genius

Traits of this week…

PRECOCIOUS
UNIQUE
SELF-TAUGHT
RECKLESS
DISTRACTED
STRESSED-OUT

Energy of the week…

During the Week of Genius the temptation to follow radical lines of thought can lead us astray or arouse opposition to our provocative ideas.

The urge to move quickly in all areas of life dominates here, so we should put on the brakes occasionally in order to avoid accidents, regrettable hasty decisions and unexpected outbursts.

Adopting a bit more conservative of a stance could guarantee success of an exciting, new project. Cultivating calm and persistence are recommended.

Personality of this week…

Although those born during the Week of Genius may not necessarily be more intelligent than others in the year, they generally learn quickly and exhibit an alert, even high-strung demeanor. Like thoroughbreds, they are hot-blooded types, usually champing at the bit to get on with it. Patience is not one of their virtues, and they show a marked itchiness with those slower sorts who need time to express themselves and make decisions.

They often arouse other people’s amazement, and also jealousy, due to the speed and ease with which they pick things up at the first go. When they are young, this ability may manifest as precocity, but parents and teachers who do not understand them may criticize them as superficial, and for lacking the staying power to see a project through. But although it is true that they are easily bored, they are quite capable of perseverance when they feel it is warranted. Not all of them have the ability to learn so fast, but most value mental skills highly and try to develop them, whether natural or not. They also prize education, but not always the kind found in school: they believe that experience is the best teacher and are often self-taught. The lure of worldly excitement will often entice them away from the classroom, and travel to foreign lands can have a peculiar fascination for them.

In their careers, they want to have things their own way. They rarely do well in jobs where they are told what to do. Self-employment or independent positions suit them better, particularly if their work allows them the freedom to make choices, plan, change direction, follow their instincts and be true to what they believe. Although they can be excellent leaders, whether of families and social groups or in their professional environments, they have no essential need to either rule or dominate. Their greatest need in relation to other people may actually be just the need for attention, since every performer ultimately needs an audience.

It is extremely important for them to give every project they work on their own personal stamp. People who enjoy the individual expression of others are fond of them, but their often destabilizing and self-centered energies can affect group projects adversely. They often seem rebellious, but this is usually because of some attempt to tame or control them. Their impulsiveness can easily bring them into conflict with authority figures, or with those of a more conservative nature.

Once they accept their uniqueness and realize that their social needs and drives are less deep than they think, they will make great strides in their careers. The more enlightened may come to realize they can use their strengths best by pursuing a career that does not necessarily involve social contact. There are many areas of science, music, art, publishing or economics that can fit the bill. Part of the problem they confront in working with others is that they tend to exhaust their talents and energies on those close to them, sometimes in a frustrated effort to fit in and feel that they really belong to a group.

On the negative side, they have a tendency toward self-destructiveness. They are more hurtful to themselves than to others. They can be emotionally unstable, and at times can appear distracted, wired, self-absorbed, and can be easily upset. Their sensitivity to external stimuli may be pronounced in such moods, and they may have an acute need to withdraw to a quiet place, away from the bustle of the world. Easily stressed out, even prone to periodic breakdowns, they must learn to toughen themselves. If they can become less easily aroused, they will deal more effectively with the exigencies of everyday life.

In matters of love, they insist that their mates understand their need for freedom. They will not be tied down to fixed routines and schedules. Friends and lovers with more demanding expectations of them are in for a rude surprise; rarely will they accept restriction. Chafing at constraint, they may just try to find another free spirit to get involved with, a solution that may work in the short term but seldom provides the stability and permanence required for deeper commitment. Some may indeed desire a permanent, faithful, giving and stable partner but may also seek the freedom to carry on all kinds of other relationships, sexual or otherwise, at the same time. By practicing this kind of double standard, these people seek to satisfy both their needs and their desires, but they also show their disregard for others.

Those born during the Week of Genius who choose family life will have to learn to direct their energies efficiently, share responsibilities, budget their time and, above all, conquer their need for attention. Their charismatic side often attracts the wrong kind of people, and this may keep their energy from those whom they love and who really need it, particularly family members. Restricting themselves to a well-chosen circle of close friends, and concentrating on those who have a stabilizing effect on them psychologically and are not needy people, will contribute greatly to their happiness.

Advice…
  • Clarify a realistic picture of yourself in your mind’s eye.
  • A certain amount of undesirable personal interaction is always necessary; try to be a bit more thick-skinned, and if necessary, downright insensitive.
  • Cultivate calm, patience and persistence rather than always going your own way.
  • Learn to handle frustration and be tough enough to quietly demand the very best for yourself.
Born this week…

PATH Satisfied Genius

Icon, week, way…

The Week of Genius traveling The Way of Satisfaction

The Week of Genius
travelling
The Way of Satisfaction

Their challenge…

KNOWING WHEN TO STOP PUSHING AND BE SATISFIED

Their fulfillment…

FEEDING THEIR NEED FOR A VARIETY OF EXPERIENCES AND PLEASURES

Personality of this configuration…

Likely to become so caught up in the manifestation of ideas, theories, and brilliant innovation that they fail to connect not only with the world of personal pleasure but with the human side of existence, those born during the Week of Genius who travel the Way of Satisfaction will require a bit of grounding before they can find real happiness. Yet they have a great potential for success as Week of Genius people are unlikely to get bogged down in a preoccupation with power structures, intrigues, or overidentification with their professional or creative products. In fact, there is much of the maverick about these souls, and if they employ their need for freedom in a quest for greater enjoyment, all will go brilliantly.

Born this path…
Notable…

JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER, JR. (PHILANTHROPIST)

WAY Satisfaction

Intensity to Manifestation…

The Way of Satisfaction

Traits of this way…

DISCERNING
PRODUCTIVE
SENSUOUS
DRIVEN
TENSE
STUBBORN

Their goal…

TO APPROACH LIVING IN A MORE RELAXED MANNER BY RELEASING ANY IDENTIFICATION WITH ONE’S WORK OR CREATIVE END PRODUCTS

They must release…

THE TENDENCY TO UNDERVALUE YOURSELF

Their reward…

THE JOY OF FEELING CONTENT

Their balance point…

APPROVAL & SELF­WORTH

Personality of this way…

    Those born during the Way of Satisfaction are powerful and creative individuals who believe they can build something of lasting value. Indeed, many of them do contribute a body of work to the world. But they must learn that their self­worth does not reside in their work or creativity. Rather, they must learn to find a sense of satisfaction with themselves, independent of their achievements. They are born with an intense, hard-driving nature. Demanding people, they expect the best of themselves and others. Learning when enough is enough and how to be satisfied with the results of their labors is crucial for them. Though often quite successful, not every one of them must leave behind a legacy on the order of, for example, John D. Rockefeller. However, whatever they choose to do with their lives, they must find within themselves the capacity to be satisfied with their work and, as a corollary, with themselves. This requires that they do what is extremely difficult for them by learning their core lesson: how to live and let live by adopting a generally more relaxed approach to life. If they do so successfully, they will be blessed with something for which many yearn: contentment.

“Formidable” is the word that best describes these folks. There are few who can equal their attention to detail or capacity for concentration. When they invoke these traits to achieve a goal, there is nothing that can stand in their way. Their capacity for intense focus, combined with their discrimination and analytical ability, gives their minds a laserlike power to home in on the underlying truth of any issue, whether practical, financial, or psychological. They always know the real motivation for anyone’s behavior. Oriented to the tangible, they have a great impulse to amass or build something of lasting value. Possessing virtuoso talents, they are often not content unless they do something with those talents, and that something has to be tangible—and preferably big. This is because, on a certain level, they are incapable of valuing themselves or their abilities unless they are actually able to see the physical manifestation of those abilities in the world. In other words, these people expect a lot of themselves.

However, not all people are moguls, nor are they meant to be. Many of them denigrate themselves horribly about their unfulfilled ambitions. They may belittle a perfectly nice job, house, mate, or life, with chronic dissatisfaction as a result. Moreover, having such high aspirations means that it is difficult for them to be satisfied with the fruits of their labor. Possessing high standards, they become bogged down by them. At work here is the fact that they do not see their creative products as spiritually inspired or natural; rather they view them from the perspective of the ego and see them as the proof of their self-worth. They identify with their work. If it is not perfect, that means they are imperfect or, even worse, no good. They can’t seem to keep themselves from this particular form of self­flagellation. What’s more, they drive themselves ceaselessly and intensely onward, amassing, producing, or achieving more and more to prove their worth to themselves and the world. Their core lesson is to relax their intensity enough to stop identifying with what they do. After all, people are more than what they produce or do and are worth more as well. But self­worth must come from within and cannot be found in an end product. Ego identification leads only to suffering. And until they learn this lesson, they will be condemned to suffer.

The great promise for them is abundance and creative fulfillment. They have the capacity to manifest both in their lives, in both large and small ways. But the real key is be satisfied with what they have. As they discover self-worth, it will be reflected onto the world, and they will begin to attract whatever they need. If, on the other hand, they denigrate themselves, believing they are only as good as their last bit of good work, they will have to work all the harder to produce the good things life has to offer. They risk cutting themselves off from the flow of life and will find working a frustrating and dissatisfying experience. Taking satisfaction in a job well done and standing firm in the sense of their own worthiness can be extremely healing for them.

A pitfall is that often they will put themselves into situations where they are surrounded by people whose values are exactly opposite those they should be embracing. It seems they like to make things difficult for themselves. For example, performers tend to associate with those who evaluate them solely on the basis of their last performance. Businesspeople might be considered only as good as their last deal. Others may find themselves evaluated on the basis of who their friends are or to whom they are married. Such judgments will prove difficult for them since they do possess a sense of ethics and fairness that rebels against such a way of thinking. Until their innate morality rears up to foster an inner rebellion against such prejudice, superficiality, and snobbery, these sensitive people are bound to be wounded by such attacks on their pride. All of which is designed to help them accept themselves and grow. They must learn to remember that their worth is intrinsic and depends only on how they feel about themselves. Feeling satisfied with and secure in who they are is all they need.

Though they possess a great deal of awareness, they must nevertheless slow down long enough to put it to use. Often tense, they would do well to begin to enjoy life’s pleasures a little more. Often, allowing themselves creature comforts at all is a strong indication that they are moving to a place of greater satisfaction since it implies that they are finally valuing themselves and their needs. Many activities can help to promote relaxation: massage, using essential oils and aromatherapy, opening up new culinary horizons, practicing yoga or tai chi, playing sports, having a satisfying sexual relationship, and a host of other physical activities will serve to ground such individuals. Also, calming and healing spiritual activities such as inspirational reading and study or meditation are recommended. Spending time in the country or even living there will also serve to bring they to a state of contentment. Indeed, shunning the tension and anxiety-producing aspects of city or corporate life may become a lifesaving imperative.

Their lessons generally involve work in some fashion and, complimentarily, their relationships. Some may be so obsessed with their careers or ambitions that even acknowledging that their private life is important is a big step forward. A second step can be broadening the scope of their social contacts beyond those that are work-related or have some bearing on their career. Although they may view such relationships as frivolous at first, really getting away from it all to relax means eliminating shop talk from their leisure time. Moreover, friends from other walks of life will help them feel valued for who they are, not what they do. Strengthening family ties can have a positive influence on them if they take advantage of the relaxation and altered perspective afforded by holiday festivities, marriages and births, educational and recreational involvement, and vacation trips. Love is the best medicine for those who suffer from sternness. A partner who can break through their armor with daily doses of kindness and affection may prove the greatest stimulus of all for a complete metamorphosis.

Those born during the Way of Satisfaction can be likened to a hard-driving corporate executive, who, whether through some epiphany or by some other design, suddenly retires. With hours of time on their hands, such a person is now given the opportunity to indulge in relaxing and satisfying activities that are not tied up with stress and success. Personal goals become more important, as does the sharing of love and a variety of experiences with others. Older and wiser, such individuals are no longer driven to prove themselves, but rather are content to give themselves over to pursuing simple pleasures.

Suggestion…
  • Know that you are not only what you do.
  • Seek out activities that promote relaxation.
  • Cultivate a wide variety of friends from many walks of life.
  • Honor your sense of ethics.
Born this way…

MONTH Visionary

The Month of the Visionary
Their motto…

I Universalize

Personality of this month…

The Month of the Visionary is the eleventh month of the Personology year, and is universal in orientation. Those born this month symbolize advanced thought, which takes us out of our physical state and allows us to view the infinite in all things. These people also represents acceptance of all points of view, and shows the universal wisdom inherent in thoughts and actions. These people bring clear truth and eternal wisdom of which we may all partake.

People born during the Month of the Visionary embody the values of science and extrasensory powers and transmute aspiring, earthy and pragmatic energies into diffuse, watery and otherworldly ones.

Their personality can be characterized by increasing detachment from earthly life as well as a childlike, somewhat fanciful (but wise) attitude. The highly accepting orientation of these people transcends material restrictions or limitations. However, they have an unpredictabile, eccentric and erratic quality to their personality. They often have a reputation for all sorts of idiosyncratic behavior. Trying to outguess them may prove to be an impossible task. Also trying to regulate their behavior by tying them to repetitive jobs which require consistency generally does not work either. These people should be given as much latitude as possible to exercise their imaginative powers and be placed under as few restrictions as possible.

Joy is essential to their personality. Often they are baffled and bewildered by rejection, since they approach life with a basically open attitude. They can be far more accepting than others, and consequently assume that others will accept them as well, which is often not the case. Furthermore, they like things to go easily. A wish for happiness and understanding pervades everything they do, but if confronted with conflict or stressful demands they can fly off the handle, go on the attack with lightning speed or simply choose to disappear.

People born during the Month of the Visionary are promoters of high ideals, valuing scientific and universal truths highly. They strive to maintain objectivity and for this reason are sometimes accused of coolness or lack of emotion. Because they can skate with ease across the surface of life, sizing up situations and reacting speedily, some find them too superficial in their approach. Paradoxically, they are often irresistibly attracted to those profound, darker aspects of others that seem to figure less prominently in their own personality.

Born this month…

SEASON Evaluation

The Season of Evaluation
Their mode of thought…

EVALUATORS

These folks look at the entire year that has gone by and assess what has worked and what has not, passing on their recommendations to the starter-uppers.

Concepts of this season…

Prophecy, Mystery & Imagination, Sensitivity

Their motto…

I Master, I Universalize, I Believe

Elements of this season…

Earth, Air, Water

Personality of this season…

The winter solstice usually occurs on December 21st in the northern hemisphere. At this time of stillness, nights are longer and days shorter than at any other time in the year. As winter advances through the bitter days and on to the hint of spring, the nights grow shorter and the days longer. Winter is the fourth and last quarter of the yearly cycle, extending from the winter solstice to the spring equinox.

Winter is traditionally the period at which the water in ponds and rivers freezes, snow falls, the sounds of nature are muted and the land lies sleeping under a white blanket. Trees stretch their bare arms into a gray sky only lit a few hours a day by a low rising sun. Although much of nature seems dead, this is only a surface view. Deep within the earth, powerful forces are engaged in a metamorphosis, the results of which will be evident to the eye in spring. Nothing really dies but is transformed into another state. There is a feeling of waiting, and of expectation. Life has moved inside and underground. Warmth is sought in caves and in houses from bitter, howling winds. Fire keeps humans warm and foods that have been stored for the winter are eaten by both people and animals.

Generally speaking, wintertime people are more concerned with the larger picture. They can be dominant types who rule their space with assurance, but often also display a greater degree of flexibility, sensitivity, acceptance and spirituality than those born at other times of the year. Although those born in the winter are often quiet types, many manifest great excitement through their thoughts, ideals and work. They are particularly distinguished by an active imagination and fantasy life. The most successful of wintertime people can objectify these visions and perhaps make them a source of creativity rather than be victimized by them. The allegiance of wintertime people is not so much to society or to personal considerations as to the world of ideas.

Wintertime people are less concerned with the state of the world as it is now and more with how it could and should be. A real reforming spirit can show itself in this personality, and an interest in matters concerning political and economic justice is very common.

Born this season…

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I got a compliment at work that I smile more

It was really out of nowhere. But I liked that. I always thought myself to be smilie person but to be told that I smile more, I enjoyed that. What’s unique about that is that I smile more because I care less. It’s not a bad thing to care less, though.  In a way it’s caring more – about the things that matter. I am a person that struggles with being my khakis. I know there is so much more to life than work, and so much more to a person than what they do. But, I tend to fixate on it a lot for myself.

Strangely, in friends that I’ve talked to, they struggle with this as well. Feeling like they should be somewhere other than where they are. I think this is what life is like from 25-30. There’s always those people that are outstanding in every way, so it seems. And then there’s the rest. I thought I would have a bright future – I’m not sure – I’m certain that I still do because as time goes past I feel both younger and older. I love to think about people who experienced success at a later age – I think in many ways they were more ready for it. They knew themselves better – had probably developed a confidence and security in themselves based on things that were not work….since their work success came later in life. I suppose that is the goal that I am working towards. To just feel more secure, more confident.

Getting off of Facebook last year has been tremendously helpful. Though, I’ve just found other ways to compare myself to other people. The latest is job titles and salaries. There’s a tug of war between what I want, what I think I want, what I think I should want/what other people tell me to want. I seem to have in my head that I want leadership – that’s what everyone is supposed to want. Leadership and prestige. And a hefty salary.

I think a lot about how Eric makes money. His worthiness is not at ALL tied to the work that he does. His work isn’t glamorous and it sounds quite boring. But he is stacking paper and well on way to being retired soon. Doesn’t it sound like silly advice to do what you love for work? Why not do what makes you money for work, and spend money on what you love? He’s not working that hard but he makes way more money than I do. I suppose there’s a school of thought that you’ll be more effective at what you do if you enjoy it. Eric loves money. LOVES money. So in that regard he’s highly effective at making it. He always told me though, “spend money to make money.”

I wonder what it would be like to work part time. Or to be engaged in work that truly doesn’t feel like work. When I think about what I enjoy – stuff that wouldn’t really feel like work – I think about being a learner and about being a student. I worked hard both for grades and for my own understanding. Why do I have negative feelings about working for money and for my own understanding? Why do I feel that in order to maintain some sort of moral high ground, I can’t work for money?

It’s very tricky. I’m not advocating for working in a job that I hate. It’s very risky, right? Putting up the capital of my time, which is certainly not guaranteed. Like, to say, let me work this 6 figure job that I hate for 6 years and then I’ll enjoy the 6 years after that. Built on the assumption that I would even have 6 more years after that to enjoy. So that doesn’t quite feel right.

I think I would win if work didn’t feel like work. If it felt like just spending my time the way I would want to spend my time even though I weren’t being paid for it. I also contemplate the idea of being larger than money – about thinking more about what money represents. Ultimately, it represents access and freedom. So, I wonder if I focused on those things: access to the things I want and the freedom to do them. I’m going to read a bit about people who work for money…see what their lessons were.

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Movie star

My favorite kinds of days are the ones where I wake up tired and someone compliments me. The most recent of times was just after PT. I decided to treat myself to some Starbucks because I had a gift card from work. I had my headphones in and walked into the store. I ordered my drink and scoped around for a place with an outlet. Naturally, as one would expect, the seats were occupied but the outlets were available. I debated on whether or not to ask some strangers if I could join them. Well, I had work that I needed to do and there was plenty of space available.

“Would you mind if I sat here?” They started moving and we made conversation. “I have to ask,” the woman says “what do you do? Are you a movie star or some type of celebrity? From the moment you walked in the door I could tell you were somebody.” So, dear self, do you see what a little bit of self-confidence can do? I was worried that asking her to let me sit there (in hindsight: maybe I should have said “do you mind if I join you?” haha, it’s a touch less bossy) would have been off putting. Instead, it was intriguing. She asked lots of questions about what I did and it ended up that I gave out a few of my business cards. Who knows if I will hear from them, or when or why, but I enjoyed this boost of confidence.

People notice you, self. And they are interested and willing to do things for you.

I think that I might try that “never sit alone.” Thing and see how it goes. I didn’t read the book, but I think I understand a bit. That means my remote work days will have to be spent outside of my beautiful home. If I could figure out how to eat on the go – I might be able to do it. OR, maybe I just commit to working during the morning or afternoon rush – only being out for long enough for me to get hungry. That could work.

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Happy 2015

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been at the yoga studio. This is really my time to write, I’m noticing. It’s quiet and the space is beautiful. I didn’t think that I would be working 2 hours a week in exchange for writing – I thought I would be working in exchange for yoga. But I suppose they are one in the same.

Life is moving fast, and I’d like to slow it down. I had a wonderful trip home. My brother and I got along quite well, didn’t have any arguments and that was the first time since like—ever. It made the time more enjoyable. My mom also didn’t pester me too much, though she did say some things that upset me. I don’t think it’s any of her business to try to put certain expectations on me as far as dating and marriage. She also made me angry when she tried to change plans at the last minute to see some of her work friends. She does this thing that really aggravates me because its manipulative. I called her out on it but she didn’t seem to care that’s what she was doing.

Surprisingly I saw HD a few times. I wasn’t expecting to see her at all. And then, welp she up and calls me. I can appreciate that. We also had a nice time. Overall the trip was very relaxing. I had intentions of calendaring things out and “getting organized” but in practice that looked like choosing a few things to focus on for 2015.

I read an article – I believe it was on Jill the sales lady’s page – that a to do list is often too long. It’s got so many things on there that you can’t possibly get around to doing all of them. So, although it seems counterintuitive to trim down my ever growing list of things I want to try, I suppose let’s just do that. Perhaps I should have a “focus” for each element of self: mind, body, spirit.

 

2015

Reiki II

Yoga

Girl Develop It

Foreign Language

I keep singing Iggy Azalea “Work.” It’s just a great song and somehow is stuck in my head. I met an interesting person who has a job that I never even knew was a job. Whenever I go on a website, my mind starts going to how it could be improved and how the number of clicks could be reduced. How it could be better. What I am just now learning is that I could be paid to do this. I thought, but how can I still contribute to to making the world a better place if I am not working for a non-profit? Well, I think it could be that – I could offer these skills on a part time or project basis to non-profits. There’s always the possibility of volunteering somewhere. I think my mind is shifting  a bit on what it means to be committed to social justice. Who knows? Maybe I will get off the ground and realize that I need to come back. But, in any instance, something needs to change. I think sometimes I am just paralyzed into doing nothing because I’m scared about making a mistake.

I wonder if getting that back bedroom in order to be a workspace will help. A creative “lab,” if you will. I wonder if how much of the reason why I haven’t taken action on some ideas is because I don’t have the space or tools. I guess I should purchase microsoft office so that I can get it installed on my computer. Gr! It’s just expensive. I’ll figure it out.

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