Monthly Archives: October 2004

Public Transit


It’s late; I have a case of insomia, and these are the thoughts that haunt my mind. I told myself that I “didn’t do” public transit. However, since I had my lucky day and found a semester bus pass on the ground I have somewhat renigged on that statement. I use the bus on occasion; I try not to use it to excess because walking is my only source of physical activity. This, however, is not too difficult. The bus is strange, and I don’t like how I feel when I’m on it. Bus drivers must not have a regard for the quality of the ride (can’t blame them though when people look them in their faces and don’t even say hello). I usually get off the bus feeling disoriented as if I had been riding on some sort of amusement park ride. I probably have a resulting closed head injury or some other brain trauma (And this would explain how I just don’t get tired until 2 or 3am). I was thinking too much earlier and I realized that riding on the bus is so weird–it’s riding in an oversized van with many, many strangers.  I know, who says that shit? Me, at 2am. Although public transit yields anxious feelings in me (who gets excited for nauseating rides?) it provides a sense of comfort. There is a possibilty, however minute it may be, that stupid people may be run over by buses. 🙂


 

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So much time has passed since my last update. I have seriously been meaning to update, I just haven’t had the opportunity to do so. Between class, work, and everything in between my xanga has been neglected. I really think, however, that I will get back into the habit of updating it. Having a journal makes me feel good:).


The past several weeks have been very trying.


Academically speaking, however, I’m doing very well. Hmm, that is assuming that I got an A on my CEP 260 exam, which was extremely difficult. I have been setting some goals for myself, both long term and short term. A long term, involved goal, is to make the dean’s list every semester. Yeah, it is going to be a lot of work but I really know I can do it.


Nobody ever really told me that the adjustment from high school to college was going to be extremely difficult. Before I came here I considered myself to be a very secure person, both emotionally and otherwise. Now, though, it just seems like some things are falling apart. I don’t think I’ve been under this much emotional stress in a while. I’ve had at least two complete emotional breakdowns since I’ve been here and I don’t know exactly what the cause of it is. Some of it has to deal with my living situation. I forgot how stupid girls can be, to put it simply. I did a pretty good job of avoiding HS drama, and it seems like some people here are still stuck in HS mode. I simply don’t want (or need) that kind of bullshit in my life right now, and it is really hard to avoid it when it happens where you live. I shouldn’t even get started on the BOYS stuck in HS mode. But I can’t help it. Let me tell you a funny story.


I went to a party. I came back from that party and went to a party on the 6th floor in hubbard. I started talking to this dude. While I was in this kid’s room I was getting tired, so I explained to him it was time for me to go. I went home—alone, mind you, and passed out. The end. That isn’t the funny part. The funny part is that subsequent week I hear all kinds of crazy stories that I “got tossed” and that I was “locked in his room”, etc. etc. And yet the saga continues. To make a longer story short, I do some asking around and find out who was doing all this talking. I was told by Person X that it was Person Y. When I confront Person Y they tell me it was Person X. Do you see where I’m going with this? Yeah, exactly. It pissed me off for a variety of reasons, 1. people are talking shit 2. people that I don’t know are going to have a bad idea about me. Hmm, I just realized something. If people are going to let some stupid story they heard about me keep them from talking to me and actually getting to know me as a person, they aren’t worth knowing anyways.


Well, I am tired of writing, I just wanted to update. Hopefully I’ll be back to my usual thought provoking entries.

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