It’s been a while since I’ve written in my xanga. I was on a little “hiatus” so to speak.
I have returned however, and I am in a sort of stank mood. I usually don’t sit with a scowl on my face when I’m happy. The problem, is of course what it always is–males. I am so ANGRY right now. I feel like I need a cigarette and I don’t even smoke. Let me explain the situation. I could use names, but the motherfucker KNOWS who he is and he probably will read this anyways. I’m not trying to start drama or have enemies @ school before I even get there. So here goes. We were talking on the phone, having a pretty decent conversation. It was one of those easygoing and fun conversations. I was having an enjoyable time talking with him. It made me rethink some things about him, about me, about ‘us’. Anyways, the discussion turned a little more serious and I had mentioned some things that had happened the previous week (I hung out with a male friend of mine). After that information was disclosed, someone started to act funky and I didn’t really appreciate that. I was allowing him to be short with me and say curt comments, but enough is a motherfucking NUFF sometimes. I cannot recall exactly what he said, but at that time I said something like “Ok umm you need to talk to me another time because I will not allow you to talk to me like that. After you’ve cooled down and…” *Click*
Now for those of you who know me, no explanation is necessary. But for the rest….
I couldn’t even believe my ears. I thought I was tripping. No he did NOT fucking hang up on me while I was in midsentence. Oh, on the contraire he SOOOOOO did. I won’t have that. I just won’t fucking have it. And whats funny is that this ISN’T the first time he’s done this. But it is the last. I just demand a certain ammount of respect, and someone hanging the gotdamn phone up on me is not inclusive in my definition of respect. I cannot believe I let him slither back into my life after hanging up on me the first time. But I am just a forgiving person–I saw something in him that allowed me to move past that, and I never did that for NOBODY. Many many many men have been cut off for doing stupid stuff like that. Looks like I don’t see 20/20 anymore. Like the saying goes….once shame on you, twice shame on me.
Some of you may think I’m being a drama queen. If that applies to you, FUCK YOU. No, I’m playing. But really, everyone has their pet peeves and that is one of mine. It drives me crazy. Just thinkin about how he hung up on me makes me seething ANGRY–seeeeeeeeeething. I could perform plastic surgery with these laser beams coming from my eyes. It’s time to talk about something else–my computer screen is melting.
No, I just cannot do it. I am so angry right now. I am too angry to even write. Something is terribly wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. And yet….am I even angry right now? Yes, I am. And because I’m a Psych major…let me think long and hard about why I’m angry….
1. someone hung up on me
2. someone hung up on me.TWICE.
2. my mom drives me crazy
3. my fucking computer kicks me offline and someone with the screen name WHATITIS007 keeps playin on my gotdamn IM
4. i have one month left of living here
5. none of my friends are going to MSU
6. my phone is on low battery
7. my fucking back hurts
8.someone who told me they were going to call me back hasn’t fucking done so
9. i don’t have a boyfriend
10. i hate everyone right now!!!*
*just kidding about #10
You’ll have to excuse me. These scrambled thoughts are those of myself when I am angry and excited and angry all at the same time. Perhaps I should have kept these thoughts to myself, and perhaps not. But I do feel better, at least I realize what is bothering me. The complicated part is…how does one remedy these situations? Temporarily…play the sims and then go to sleep.