Monthly Archives: April 2004

Cameran Chrowe’s “I wish nonsense”


i wish.
so, i have a pencil. its very bored.
i wish i could take this pencil and shove it down your fucking throat.
i wish i had the balls to do some shit like that to you.
but i don’t.
its bullshit though because i used to.
i used to have balls that didn’t end.
i wish i never lost them.
i’ve lost a lot of things.
i lost my favorite fucking soccer ball the summer of third grade.
i gave up on playing.
the winter of fifth grade, i left my barbie swimsuit in the changing room at the YMCA.
damnit, i still miss that.
i only got to wear it three times.
fuck that shit
whats worse than loosing things is having them stolen.
i had a few things stolen.
i wish that never happened.
but wishing things is stupid
its ridiculus
wishing never got shit accomplished
I’ve got to start moving
motion…..
motion….
is bittersweet
you can’t enjoy a fucking sunset if you’re spinning around in circles giving yourself motion sickness
you can’t enjoy a fucking sunrise if you’re laying in your bed not doing shit
i wish i knew some things
i wish i knew how to stop this damn wishing
im a little kid at heart
sometimes
i wish i knew what the fuck was wrong with these motherfuckers who get tripped up over small shit yet try to tell other motherfuckers to keep walking in straight lines
i’ve decided im a caring person
that is the conclusion i’ve come to
i care about  myself a lot
i wish i cared for you enough to shove this bloody pencil in your neck to take away the pain that troubles you
but i don’t

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sleep


sleep heals every ailment, or at least prevents you from thinking about it.

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Cameran Chrowe’s “I used to run”


I used to run.
Mostly long distances, cross country and such.
I even tried sprinting too.
I don’t anymore
Now I’m a shot puter
Flinging around dead weight
I dropped it on my toe once, the baby toe to be exact
It hurt like a bitch.
Lately I’ve been contemplating sympathy
I’ve decided it doesn’t exist
Feel bad for someone for two seconds then go back to your life
Fuck that shit
Even worse than that is empathy
Be in someone’s shoes for a moment
Count your blessings and then shut the fuck up
Its not your problem so I’m sure you’ll sleep tonight
I’ve learned a few things since I’ve stopped running
Motion doesn’t make you any less stagnant than standing still
When you run you start and end in the same place
What does that tell you?
(That was a rhetorical fucking question)
Motion is a distraction
I’d much rather stand still
I can recall being jealous of K. Walsh whose time was 20 seconds for the 200m dash
Jealousy is a most friendly companion
She stays with you, she cradles you
Love however, humiliates you
I ran yesterday
Because I missed the distractions
I ran with my shoes off
And came back with damaged souls
Perhaps it was worth it
I’ll have to decide yes or no when I need to wear my fancy white shoes for graduation


That was me yesterday
Today it aint the same.
I quit the damn track team
It was bullshit
I went to the library
Checked out this book
The cover of it is pretty fucking sweet
Its blue with clouds and all kinds of beautiful shit
I tried to read it
But I think I forgot how
I’d been away from books so long
Shit its just too late for a lot of things now
But fuck it
Its gorgeous out
I’ll go for a walk

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Yes, I decided to fill this out. Primarily because I haven’t updated in a minute and feel like putting something up. (I know I said  wouldn’t do that, but I can’t help it!)


 


1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
“I’ve done it before, I’ll do it now”


2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?:
CD-Rs


3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?:
Making the Band II


4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
11:30


5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?:
11:35


6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?:
DRS-“Gansta Lean” cos its in my headphones


7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?:
about 8; went to Kroger; i really really wanted some party mix


9: What are you wearing?:
nothing, because I can go outside indecently


10: Did you dream last night?:
the question is..do i remember it? (NO)


11: When did you last laugh?
at Jamal when he told me I was “breathtaking”


12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?:
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (poster), Dragon Ball z poster, and honor: if you try to change it you will ruin it, if you try to hold it you will lose it (poster)


13: Seen anything weird lately?:
a black midget with down syndrome


14: What do you think of this quiz?:
its kinda wack



15: What is the last film you saw?:
Johnson family vacation


16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
a house for my parents


17: Tell me something about you that I don’t know:
I’m rather insecure at times…


18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?:
I would genetically engineer the shit out of everything


19: Do you like to dance?:
youre damn right i do.


20: George Bush: thanks a lot you fucking bitch


21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
natalia



22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
adonis


23: Would you ever consider living abroad?:
Its a dream, rather. Preferably somewhere where americans are liked…ooops looks like im not going abroad…


24: Will you pass on this survey?:
pass it on : umm….no

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